This week has been a new realization for me. Well, maybe not
new, but definitely a difficult pill
to swallow either way. You see, I’m discovering how bad I am at problem
solving, especially right on the spot, which is really the only time I ever
need to problem solve, anyway. I’ve had a rough few days of just total
disrespect and kids not caring in one of my classes. It is super frustrating.
We literally had one class where we didn’t get anything done because I kept
waiting for them to be quiet. That time never came, though. The only thing that
did was the bell. As much as I should have cared, I really just couldn’t wait
to get out of there. Then, yesterday, the same thing started to happen However,
this time, one of my students who really does want to learn practically begged
me to continue even a midst the chaos that was my classroom at that moment. In
my head, I was freaking out because I literally had no idea how to still teach
the one of two kids who still wanted to learn and let it still be effective
when the rest of the class was acting like complete idiots. I hate wasting
time, especially when it is my own. I feel like when I talk and nobody is
listening, I am making the biggest possible waste of my time. The ironic thing
is that even if I only have ONE kid willing to listen anymore, it’s still enough. I became a teacher because
I wanted to make a difference. Maybe right now my only chance to make a
difference in this particular class is to only teach to the one who wants it. That’s hard to accept,
but I should really be counting my blessings that I even HAVE one willing to
still listen and learn!
Today, I had a double block with this same class, and man,
by the time Friday hits, we are all just tired of one another. Go figure. Well,
the same thing started to happen, only this time, I had two boys instead of one
pushing me to keep teaching even though there was so much talking going on. I
decided to only give the worksheet to the kids showing they were honestly
invested in the activity. The other ones I told would receive a zero if they
chose to act that way all class. Miraculously, they started to figure it out
and every kid earned a worksheet to fill out. Now, I am a firm believer that
your behavior should affect your grade, because grades area big motivator. I
had that whole class quiet and attentive and ready to hear what I was
presenting them with. Wow! It was a beautiful ripple effect where they saw
their actions had direct consequences, but they could also choose to change
their behavior and earn their chance back.
We did another activity afterwards, where they also needed a
worksheet from me, and again, I only gave the paper to the kids showing honest
attention. Even then, I had 4 more kids who earned a worksheet from the very
beginning than I did with the first thing we did. Again, they figured out that
I was serious, but they also understood that I wanted them to be involved, but
they had to earn it at this point.
Who knows if this will ever work again for me, but I cannot
tell you how thankful I am that it worked today. Yes, today was a good day! It’s exciting to say that,
mostly because every single day, someone asks me how it went and I always say, “Not
great, but it could have been worse.” Today, I was genuinely able to say that
every class of mine was good. Again,
not great, but shoot, I’ll take what I can get. J
The day ended on an even better note because we had another
girls’ night for our high school ladies. I love hanging out with them outside
of class time. It’s like getting this beautiful glimpse into what they will be
like when they really grow up. However, at the same time, I get to see their
childish, romantic side when we watch the movie, Frozen, and the girls all “ooh” and “ah” at seemingly cheesy
scenes. I can’t talk, though, because it happens to be my favorite movie. It’s
just great to see sides of them I could never see when I’m just Miss Brenna.
Although I feel it’s harder being back here now than it was
for the first part of the year, I still feel incredibly blessed to be here with
these people, both big and small, and get to do life with them. I have a long
way to go before I feel like I’m really helping them along in a significant way
as far as their academic career goes, but I know God has given me a gift to
share with them. It may just not be found inside the classroom so much as
outside of it.
Still finding my way, but either way, it’s a beautiful
journey.
Until next time….
No comments:
Post a Comment