I've always loved this truth about teaching: you can't do it without being taught something at the same time. If you know me at all, you probably know how open and willing I am to say I rarely actually know what I'm doing. I am always wanting and thirsting for feedback from others on how I can improve, especially when it comes to my teaching career. This time I've spent in Honduras has been no different. There is always one struggle or another, and I either handle them well or I don't. Luckily, when I don't, there are people who are willing to point that out to me. Gosh, I am so thankful for that.
I have such a great group of people to work with, both of whom have taught for a few years and some who have only just a tad more experience than I do. One my coworkers on the high school side offered his help by observing one of my classes for 8th grade because I kept talking about how I just can't handle their behavior anymore. He gave me some really great tips on how to manage them better and I've been able to put them to good use, hopefully this continues!
Last Thursday was my birthday, so all my friends and I went out for a birthday eve dinner at a super yummy restaraunt I had not been to yet. The best part about this place wasn't even the food, it was the menu. They tried to translate it all into English for tourists and came up just a tad short. For example, they said a baleada was a shot. Ha! If you've read my past blogs, you know why this is funny. =) Anyway, the night of my actual birthday was the first night of a missionary conference for anyone in Honduras, so a bunch of us from school went to that. It was so good to be around other English speakers, and not only that, but we sang worship in ENGLISH!!!! I can tell you without a doubt that this is one of the HARDEST things to go without while being here. Music is a huge part of who I am, so going without it is slightly depressing, or at least going without it in a public worship setting.
Even better than singing songs in English, but the leader even did a Kari Jobe song, Healer, my favorite! Yes, she may not have done it quite the way I most enjoy, but hey, I'll take what I can get! The speaker talked a lot about how we may have to wait, a LONG time, before we ever see our work for God's kingdom come to life. It's always such a good reminder to know that we may really never see what goes on in someone else's heart this side of Heaven. That only makes me more hopeful and excited for the work we do here, though. I think I've said it before, but sometimes the work here seems very mundane. Man, it's hard to accept that simply BEING here is my missionary work. He sent me. He knows what I need. And He knows how He's going to use me. However, I don't always do such a great job of receiving that truth. So this conference came at just the right time for my heart.
I honestly feel like God's been teaching me so much lately that I don't even know how to process it all. It was a huge encouragement to see how much love I received on my birthday, though. All my kids came up and sang to me and made me cards and brought me treats and showered me with kindness. What a day!! My dear friend, Lauren, even made me some peanut butter covered brownies! Yum!! And I got to read some great cards from family and my best friend. Certainly a great birthday in my book.
Right now, in my 9th grade class, they're reading a book that is all about faith, but it is presented in a non-Biblical way. This may sound terrible, but it provides some honest to God GREAT discussion. The amount of deep conversations I get to have with them is mind blowing. Now they are writing essays about what they believe about God and that was just as fantastic to get to think through things with them and then read what they personally believe. I love it. Seriously.
Tonight, after school we had an English teacher meeting, without our English Program Director, Silvia, because she is still sick. She will hopefully be well enough to come back this week, as she is feeling much better. That would really be a great thing for you to pray about, though, because she has been super discouraged not being able to be here and lead in the capacity that she is so used to doing.
I also had my first Spanish lesson tonight!! I thought my teacher would speak a fair amount of English since the Seminary, where I am going for lessons, knew how LITERALLY beginner I am. BUT, she barely knows any English. I think it ended up being a good thing, hard for sure, but good! It forces me to really listen and try even harder. I'm feeling overwhelmed a bit with the amount of work I have to get done for classes and such, and now adding Spanish lessons, it will be an adjustment. I am learning a ton about time management, though. It's sad, really, you would think I learned this a long time ago, but now it's like I'm relearning this, along with many other things, all over again.
As hard as it is being here and doing this life at times, it is SO worth it. Why? Because I know I'm smack dab in the middle of God's will for me right now. All I know to do some days is just be. I don't have to be great, I don't have to be perfect, and I certainly don't have to have all my stuff together. Thank. God. The Lord has shown me so much about what it means to be away from my "norm" and still be intentional with those that are important to me. In addition to that, He's shown me how to be more intentional with the people He's placed in my life right NOW.
I better run, as I've still got a lot to get done tonight. Not only is God cleaning out some of the junk in my life emotionally, but He's also working on me cleaning out the junk that is all over my floor. Yep, not sure how it is possible to STILL have a messy room when I literally have a tenth of the things I normally have at home, but either way, it's driving me crazy and I have to stop putting it off. Adios y buenas noches! I'm not sure if that is accurate, but I think it means goodbye and good night! =)
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. - Philippians 1:6
Much Love and Blessings,
Brenna B.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Saturday, September 21, 2013
It's Been a While...
Hi friends! I would like to start out by apologizing. I did NOT mean to go this long without blogging. I promise I will never go this long again without updating you all! The last three weeks have been a little bit of a blur, mostly because I got a cold, that turned into an even more serious thing (I'm much better now) and then we lost power for quite a while, and then I left town for a couple of days, and then we lost internet at our house! We actually still don't have internet, but the school internet works pretty well for us most of the time. It's not the greatest, but it's something.
Since I have so much to catch you up on, yet I really don't want to bore you, I will just give you some highlights:
The three of us teachers at the Teacher House hosted a bonfire, that got rained out and we all hung out inside instead, but still tons of fun! I got to meet all kinds of other white missionaries, which did my soul a lot of good. It's crazy to me how many North Americans (and English and Canadian) missionaries are down here! AND I keep meeting more! Anyway, it was wonderful getting to know them and hear their stories of what led them here.
The next night, the English teachers were invited to another missionary family's house for dinner: homemade lasagna. YUM! It was great because Sue, who is also the mother of one of my 8th grade students, wants to make sure we all are spiritually taken care of, so she wants to meet with us one on one and provide us with whatever support we need while we're here. In other words, she's like my campus minister from back home, which is absolutely wonderful. =)
My biggest struggle lately has been with my students. It amazes me how much I can love them and yet also be so frustrated by them! I've been brought to tears many days since first arriving, and mostly because I feel like I am failing my students. That hurts my heart quite a bit. It's hard being a first year teacher. It's even harder doing it in a foreign country where their disciplinary rules are completely different from ours at home. Having said that, though, my students are all so great, and I thoroughly enjoy getting to know them better as the days go by. I love their hearts for Jesus and how eager they are to learn and talk about Him!
My students really encouraged me, though, as last Tuesday was Honduras' Children's Day. The way the high school celebrates this is by going to an under privileged school and showing the kids there a really good time. I was with my 7th graders all day, and they made me so proud with the way they loved those little kids and did their best to make them happy. It was especially great when I asked one of my girls if she was having fun and she said, "no, I'm so bored." The funny thing was, she was the one who looked like she was having the most fun. It just goes to show they really know how to act mature and put on a happy face even when they don't want to. It's the same with all of us. There are plenty of things we have to do that we don't really want to do, but God calls us to glorify Him, and we can't do that with a bad attitude. Plus, it's during those harder times when we really get to see God in action and enjoy Him at an even deeper level.
As I said earlier, I started to get a cold at the beginning of last week, and by last Friday, I was barely able to make it through the school day. My friend, Doris, who is one of the librarians, took pity on me when I asked if she'd take me to the hospital after school. Of course, since she's one of the kindest people I've ever met, she didn't hesitate to say yes. Now, before you get nervous, when we say "hospital" here, it is nothing like in the States. It is more for any need, like an Urgent Care, if you will. Any health issue you have, this is where you go. The benefit of working at the school is that any and all of our medications are covered! So, I got an appointment with the doctor, a blood test, all my medications, and even a Penicillin shot (in my buttocks, no doubt) all for free! Talk about a blessing! For those wondering, my platelets are doing great still. =) And I found out I had a bacteria in my blood that was best dealt with by getting a Penicillin shot. I can't say I've ever had one of those and I really can't say I'd like to ever get another one. They are super uncomfortable. If nothing else, though, I provided a good laugh for the lady who injected it in me!
Thankfully, I started to feel well enough to join my good friends on a trip to Copan to enjoy our two days off from school after we had our annual Independence Day parade! I love being in Honduras, but being in Copan made us feel like we weren't even in Honduras anymore. I mean, sometimes you really have to get far away in order to fully relax. So that is exactly what we did! Copan is 5 hours away and all the streets are cobblestone. It is so wonderful there, and so peaceful since we went when not many people were visiting. Our hotel (which only cost $25 for 2 nights!) had this great rooftop area where we could sit and play cards, journal, lie in a hammock, drink coffee, soak our feet in a little pool, or just enjoy the view. We felt spoiled, to say the least. Like my friend, Lauren, said, it's the most relaxed any of us have felt since the school year began. It gave me some great alone time with God to just be open and honest about how I'm feeling about my new life.
The best thing about being here for this long is that it really does feel like home now. I know this is where I belong. The moment that God solidified that for me was Wednesday when we resumed classes and one of my 7th graders was out sick. The kids told me he has dengue (a really bad disease that can be life threatening, caused my certain mosquito bites) and weren't sure how bad his was. We've been practicing memorizing some verses from 1 John that talk about how if we do not love, we do not know God because God is love. We did our motions that we made up and then I asked the kids if we could pray as a class for Luis, the student who is sick. They all were so willing to do it, and one of the girls even volunteered to open us up in prayer. It was just what I needed to be reminded that I may not be doing very well in the department of teaching them academic things right now, but when it comes to God, He's leading me into such amazing opportunities for my students to have a fuller relationship with Him, it's such a beautiful thing.
Not only that, but my 9th grade class is reading a book right now all about how you have to follow all the "rules" if you really want to be saved. It's brought up some great conversation about how it's not about the rules at all, but about our hearts and that we seek Christ in everything we do. It always blows me away when the kids answer in a way that I can just tell "they get it". I can't wait to see how the rest of this year plays out. Even more so, I can't believe God chose me to come down here and live this life for a year. I certainly do not deserve it. If anything, that would be the theme of my life thus far while being here: I don't deserve to be living it. God has humbled me in so many ways. Being in a country where you can't speak the language and you can't drive a car and you can't do a lot of the things that were almost second nature to you back at home, it forces you to rely on others. Even more so, it forces you to be okay with relying on others. I have had to ask for help more times than I would like to admit, but never once has it ended badly. If anything, it strengthened my relationships with the people involved, and especially with Jesus. I can't do this life on my own, and I never want to.
We all need community. Even 2,000 plus miles away, we all still need community. Today, my momma had to put our dog, Josephine, to sleep because her health had gotten so bad. If there were ever a time a really, really wanted to go home, it would be today. I hate that I can't be there with my mom. However, I am extremely grateful for friends and family who CAN be there for her. My best friend, Kristin, knows how to love me even with all this distance. She went and spent time with my mom today and on top of that, I was able to Skype with them! My dad was there, too, so it was really great to be able to see them and talk to them. Especially today. I know what I'm doing here is not going to last forever, and in the span of my whole life, it could be very short, but I want to be able to enjoy every minute of it. That's hard to do when something like this happens, but I know that I serve a God who never leaves us or forsakes us. He doesn't leave me, He doesn't leave my mom, and He certainly doesn't leave anyone else, either. It's okay to not be in more than one place at a time, as much as I would like to, I know that God has all aspects of my life under control, even the ones I can't be a part of right now.
Having said that, it reminds me of my 9th graders. They are working on writing an essay on what they believe about God. One of the girls wrote that "I am his little girl". Yes, yes indeed! We are all His children and He longs to take care of us and show us how deep His love for us goes. Any struggle we may face, whether it is with our family, our friends, money problems, health issues, anything. All God wants to do is take us in His arms and tell us how much He loves us and that if we let Him take the lead, we will have everything we need. I'm trusting in that truth today. I'm praying you are, too. I can't imagine living this life without the hope of knowing that one day this world will pass away and we will get to spend eternity in Heaven with our Father, our Creator, the One who loves us more than we could ever possibly imagine. While I wait for that day, I'm trying to remember to live each day in obedience. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to fix everyone around me. I don't even have to be good at what I do. I just have to obey. I'm still figuring out what that looks like, but I think I understand it a little better every day. There are so many things I can't change, even more so since living here. I really have no choice but to "let go, and let God".
God Bless!
Since I have so much to catch you up on, yet I really don't want to bore you, I will just give you some highlights:
The three of us teachers at the Teacher House hosted a bonfire, that got rained out and we all hung out inside instead, but still tons of fun! I got to meet all kinds of other white missionaries, which did my soul a lot of good. It's crazy to me how many North Americans (and English and Canadian) missionaries are down here! AND I keep meeting more! Anyway, it was wonderful getting to know them and hear their stories of what led them here.
The next night, the English teachers were invited to another missionary family's house for dinner: homemade lasagna. YUM! It was great because Sue, who is also the mother of one of my 8th grade students, wants to make sure we all are spiritually taken care of, so she wants to meet with us one on one and provide us with whatever support we need while we're here. In other words, she's like my campus minister from back home, which is absolutely wonderful. =)
My biggest struggle lately has been with my students. It amazes me how much I can love them and yet also be so frustrated by them! I've been brought to tears many days since first arriving, and mostly because I feel like I am failing my students. That hurts my heart quite a bit. It's hard being a first year teacher. It's even harder doing it in a foreign country where their disciplinary rules are completely different from ours at home. Having said that, though, my students are all so great, and I thoroughly enjoy getting to know them better as the days go by. I love their hearts for Jesus and how eager they are to learn and talk about Him!
My students really encouraged me, though, as last Tuesday was Honduras' Children's Day. The way the high school celebrates this is by going to an under privileged school and showing the kids there a really good time. I was with my 7th graders all day, and they made me so proud with the way they loved those little kids and did their best to make them happy. It was especially great when I asked one of my girls if she was having fun and she said, "no, I'm so bored." The funny thing was, she was the one who looked like she was having the most fun. It just goes to show they really know how to act mature and put on a happy face even when they don't want to. It's the same with all of us. There are plenty of things we have to do that we don't really want to do, but God calls us to glorify Him, and we can't do that with a bad attitude. Plus, it's during those harder times when we really get to see God in action and enjoy Him at an even deeper level.
As I said earlier, I started to get a cold at the beginning of last week, and by last Friday, I was barely able to make it through the school day. My friend, Doris, who is one of the librarians, took pity on me when I asked if she'd take me to the hospital after school. Of course, since she's one of the kindest people I've ever met, she didn't hesitate to say yes. Now, before you get nervous, when we say "hospital" here, it is nothing like in the States. It is more for any need, like an Urgent Care, if you will. Any health issue you have, this is where you go. The benefit of working at the school is that any and all of our medications are covered! So, I got an appointment with the doctor, a blood test, all my medications, and even a Penicillin shot (in my buttocks, no doubt) all for free! Talk about a blessing! For those wondering, my platelets are doing great still. =) And I found out I had a bacteria in my blood that was best dealt with by getting a Penicillin shot. I can't say I've ever had one of those and I really can't say I'd like to ever get another one. They are super uncomfortable. If nothing else, though, I provided a good laugh for the lady who injected it in me!
Thankfully, I started to feel well enough to join my good friends on a trip to Copan to enjoy our two days off from school after we had our annual Independence Day parade! I love being in Honduras, but being in Copan made us feel like we weren't even in Honduras anymore. I mean, sometimes you really have to get far away in order to fully relax. So that is exactly what we did! Copan is 5 hours away and all the streets are cobblestone. It is so wonderful there, and so peaceful since we went when not many people were visiting. Our hotel (which only cost $25 for 2 nights!) had this great rooftop area where we could sit and play cards, journal, lie in a hammock, drink coffee, soak our feet in a little pool, or just enjoy the view. We felt spoiled, to say the least. Like my friend, Lauren, said, it's the most relaxed any of us have felt since the school year began. It gave me some great alone time with God to just be open and honest about how I'm feeling about my new life.
The best thing about being here for this long is that it really does feel like home now. I know this is where I belong. The moment that God solidified that for me was Wednesday when we resumed classes and one of my 7th graders was out sick. The kids told me he has dengue (a really bad disease that can be life threatening, caused my certain mosquito bites) and weren't sure how bad his was. We've been practicing memorizing some verses from 1 John that talk about how if we do not love, we do not know God because God is love. We did our motions that we made up and then I asked the kids if we could pray as a class for Luis, the student who is sick. They all were so willing to do it, and one of the girls even volunteered to open us up in prayer. It was just what I needed to be reminded that I may not be doing very well in the department of teaching them academic things right now, but when it comes to God, He's leading me into such amazing opportunities for my students to have a fuller relationship with Him, it's such a beautiful thing.
Not only that, but my 9th grade class is reading a book right now all about how you have to follow all the "rules" if you really want to be saved. It's brought up some great conversation about how it's not about the rules at all, but about our hearts and that we seek Christ in everything we do. It always blows me away when the kids answer in a way that I can just tell "they get it". I can't wait to see how the rest of this year plays out. Even more so, I can't believe God chose me to come down here and live this life for a year. I certainly do not deserve it. If anything, that would be the theme of my life thus far while being here: I don't deserve to be living it. God has humbled me in so many ways. Being in a country where you can't speak the language and you can't drive a car and you can't do a lot of the things that were almost second nature to you back at home, it forces you to rely on others. Even more so, it forces you to be okay with relying on others. I have had to ask for help more times than I would like to admit, but never once has it ended badly. If anything, it strengthened my relationships with the people involved, and especially with Jesus. I can't do this life on my own, and I never want to.
We all need community. Even 2,000 plus miles away, we all still need community. Today, my momma had to put our dog, Josephine, to sleep because her health had gotten so bad. If there were ever a time a really, really wanted to go home, it would be today. I hate that I can't be there with my mom. However, I am extremely grateful for friends and family who CAN be there for her. My best friend, Kristin, knows how to love me even with all this distance. She went and spent time with my mom today and on top of that, I was able to Skype with them! My dad was there, too, so it was really great to be able to see them and talk to them. Especially today. I know what I'm doing here is not going to last forever, and in the span of my whole life, it could be very short, but I want to be able to enjoy every minute of it. That's hard to do when something like this happens, but I know that I serve a God who never leaves us or forsakes us. He doesn't leave me, He doesn't leave my mom, and He certainly doesn't leave anyone else, either. It's okay to not be in more than one place at a time, as much as I would like to, I know that God has all aspects of my life under control, even the ones I can't be a part of right now.
Having said that, it reminds me of my 9th graders. They are working on writing an essay on what they believe about God. One of the girls wrote that "I am his little girl". Yes, yes indeed! We are all His children and He longs to take care of us and show us how deep His love for us goes. Any struggle we may face, whether it is with our family, our friends, money problems, health issues, anything. All God wants to do is take us in His arms and tell us how much He loves us and that if we let Him take the lead, we will have everything we need. I'm trusting in that truth today. I'm praying you are, too. I can't imagine living this life without the hope of knowing that one day this world will pass away and we will get to spend eternity in Heaven with our Father, our Creator, the One who loves us more than we could ever possibly imagine. While I wait for that day, I'm trying to remember to live each day in obedience. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to fix everyone around me. I don't even have to be good at what I do. I just have to obey. I'm still figuring out what that looks like, but I think I understand it a little better every day. There are so many things I can't change, even more so since living here. I really have no choice but to "let go, and let God".
God Bless!
Monday, September 2, 2013
Don't Sweat The Small Stuff
Did you know I've already been in Honduras now for more than three weeks? Yeah, I didn't either until I looked at the calendar. Boy, time has been flying by! It's to the point where my days start looking more routine, so I don't really know what to share with you because it doesn't seem like anything new to me now. However, I'll try my best anyway. =)
Anyone back home who even knows a little about me knows that I have a lot of technology issues, mainly because I decided a long time ago that technology hates me. Well, sadly enough, my problem followed me to Honduras. My screen on my laptop went dead on me the other day. Talk about a freak out session. Me being the uneducated computer person that I am sat in my room and cried because I didn't think I'd be able to do my job OR talk to anyone from home. My world felt like it was caving in a little.
Then, my wonderful roommate, Sarah, told me this same thing has happened to her multiple times while she's lived here and also told me how to hook up my laptop to the t.v. screen. What? I seriously had never heard of this. Anyway, as I write, picture me hooked up to a t.v. screen that my new friend, Cristian, let me borrow. In other words: crisis averted. I also have another new friend, Doris (one of the librarians) who knows a guy who can fix my problem! Talk about God having my back. It's the little things like this that make me feel so blessed.
On to a different topic, one of my favorite things to do here is to go to church. We go to one called Celebracion, and there are a few reasons why I love it so much. First of all, it's not just a church, but during the rest of the week, it operates as a coffee shop! We went there a couple nights ago and I swear they have better tasting frappucinos than Starbucks. Yum! We got them at the perfect time, too, because I was just wishing I could have a Starbucks drink.
It must be the country, and the fact that I really appreciate everything a lot more being here, that makes me really enjoy my quiet time with God in the mornings. It's so nice to go to bed so early that waking up at 5:30 isn't even a struggle. It gives me plenty of time to block out the rest of my worries and focus on the one who created me. I've been reading in Romans and just finished up and was searching for a new book to read when I saw my campus ministry back home, Christian Student Fellowship, is reading through the book of Proverbs this month. I decided it'd be pretty nice to join them in that, plus it's been a while since I read through all of them.
I finally got a new camera, and funny enough, it's even better than my lost one! And it's my favorite color. =) I also enjoyed a great smoothie date with my new friend, Lauren. It's been so wonderful to make new friends so far away who share the same passion for Jesus as me. I'm continually thankful for the example I was given during my years at college and showing me what living in community with others actually looks like. It's a lot harder to be intentional when you're always busy with work here, but it's certainly not impossible, and most definitely required in order for me to continue to thrive here.
I think my biggest adjustment currently is to stop sweating the small stuff. The Bible verse from Matthew (I think?) comes to mind when Jesus talks about how He feeds the birds, so why are we worried that He won't take care of us even more abundantly? I need that reminder, because in the midst of one of many small trials throughout my day, it's easy to think "Really, God? Why are you making me go through this?" Sometimes I selfishly think that because I came here at ALL is enough of a challenge, so why does He have to throw more obstacles in my way? I quickly remember how silly that way of thinking is. I'm so grateful to be here and doing what I love, no matter how tough the kids are to manage at times. I try to imagine living at home right now instead, and it doesn't even make sense in my mind. This is where I HAVE to be right now.
Thanks for listening to me ramble on about my life and minor daily problems. Sorry this was a longer post than normal, turns out I did have a lot to say after all! Praying this can be some encouragement to you with whatever it is you may be going through right now. Just remember, God's got your back, even when you may not believe that. He hasn't gone anywhere just because we can't "feel" Him. It just means we have to dig a little deeper to find Him.
Anyone back home who even knows a little about me knows that I have a lot of technology issues, mainly because I decided a long time ago that technology hates me. Well, sadly enough, my problem followed me to Honduras. My screen on my laptop went dead on me the other day. Talk about a freak out session. Me being the uneducated computer person that I am sat in my room and cried because I didn't think I'd be able to do my job OR talk to anyone from home. My world felt like it was caving in a little.
Then, my wonderful roommate, Sarah, told me this same thing has happened to her multiple times while she's lived here and also told me how to hook up my laptop to the t.v. screen. What? I seriously had never heard of this. Anyway, as I write, picture me hooked up to a t.v. screen that my new friend, Cristian, let me borrow. In other words: crisis averted. I also have another new friend, Doris (one of the librarians) who knows a guy who can fix my problem! Talk about God having my back. It's the little things like this that make me feel so blessed.
On to a different topic, one of my favorite things to do here is to go to church. We go to one called Celebracion, and there are a few reasons why I love it so much. First of all, it's not just a church, but during the rest of the week, it operates as a coffee shop! We went there a couple nights ago and I swear they have better tasting frappucinos than Starbucks. Yum! We got them at the perfect time, too, because I was just wishing I could have a Starbucks drink.
It must be the country, and the fact that I really appreciate everything a lot more being here, that makes me really enjoy my quiet time with God in the mornings. It's so nice to go to bed so early that waking up at 5:30 isn't even a struggle. It gives me plenty of time to block out the rest of my worries and focus on the one who created me. I've been reading in Romans and just finished up and was searching for a new book to read when I saw my campus ministry back home, Christian Student Fellowship, is reading through the book of Proverbs this month. I decided it'd be pretty nice to join them in that, plus it's been a while since I read through all of them.
I finally got a new camera, and funny enough, it's even better than my lost one! And it's my favorite color. =) I also enjoyed a great smoothie date with my new friend, Lauren. It's been so wonderful to make new friends so far away who share the same passion for Jesus as me. I'm continually thankful for the example I was given during my years at college and showing me what living in community with others actually looks like. It's a lot harder to be intentional when you're always busy with work here, but it's certainly not impossible, and most definitely required in order for me to continue to thrive here.
I think my biggest adjustment currently is to stop sweating the small stuff. The Bible verse from Matthew (I think?) comes to mind when Jesus talks about how He feeds the birds, so why are we worried that He won't take care of us even more abundantly? I need that reminder, because in the midst of one of many small trials throughout my day, it's easy to think "Really, God? Why are you making me go through this?" Sometimes I selfishly think that because I came here at ALL is enough of a challenge, so why does He have to throw more obstacles in my way? I quickly remember how silly that way of thinking is. I'm so grateful to be here and doing what I love, no matter how tough the kids are to manage at times. I try to imagine living at home right now instead, and it doesn't even make sense in my mind. This is where I HAVE to be right now.
Thanks for listening to me ramble on about my life and minor daily problems. Sorry this was a longer post than normal, turns out I did have a lot to say after all! Praying this can be some encouragement to you with whatever it is you may be going through right now. Just remember, God's got your back, even when you may not believe that. He hasn't gone anywhere just because we can't "feel" Him. It just means we have to dig a little deeper to find Him.
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