I've always loved this truth about teaching: you can't do it without being taught something at the same time. If you know me at all, you probably know how open and willing I am to say I rarely actually know what I'm doing. I am always wanting and thirsting for feedback from others on how I can improve, especially when it comes to my teaching career. This time I've spent in Honduras has been no different. There is always one struggle or another, and I either handle them well or I don't. Luckily, when I don't, there are people who are willing to point that out to me. Gosh, I am so thankful for that.
I have such a great group of people to work with, both of whom have taught for a few years and some who have only just a tad more experience than I do. One my coworkers on the high school side offered his help by observing one of my classes for 8th grade because I kept talking about how I just can't handle their behavior anymore. He gave me some really great tips on how to manage them better and I've been able to put them to good use, hopefully this continues!
Last Thursday was my birthday, so all my friends and I went out for a birthday eve dinner at a super yummy restaraunt I had not been to yet. The best part about this place wasn't even the food, it was the menu. They tried to translate it all into English for tourists and came up just a tad short. For example, they said a baleada was a shot. Ha! If you've read my past blogs, you know why this is funny. =) Anyway, the night of my actual birthday was the first night of a missionary conference for anyone in Honduras, so a bunch of us from school went to that. It was so good to be around other English speakers, and not only that, but we sang worship in ENGLISH!!!! I can tell you without a doubt that this is one of the HARDEST things to go without while being here. Music is a huge part of who I am, so going without it is slightly depressing, or at least going without it in a public worship setting.
Even better than singing songs in English, but the leader even did a Kari Jobe song, Healer, my favorite! Yes, she may not have done it quite the way I most enjoy, but hey, I'll take what I can get! The speaker talked a lot about how we may have to wait, a LONG time, before we ever see our work for God's kingdom come to life. It's always such a good reminder to know that we may really never see what goes on in someone else's heart this side of Heaven. That only makes me more hopeful and excited for the work we do here, though. I think I've said it before, but sometimes the work here seems very mundane. Man, it's hard to accept that simply BEING here is my missionary work. He sent me. He knows what I need. And He knows how He's going to use me. However, I don't always do such a great job of receiving that truth. So this conference came at just the right time for my heart.
I honestly feel like God's been teaching me so much lately that I don't even know how to process it all. It was a huge encouragement to see how much love I received on my birthday, though. All my kids came up and sang to me and made me cards and brought me treats and showered me with kindness. What a day!! My dear friend, Lauren, even made me some peanut butter covered brownies! Yum!! And I got to read some great cards from family and my best friend. Certainly a great birthday in my book.
Right now, in my 9th grade class, they're reading a book that is all about faith, but it is presented in a non-Biblical way. This may sound terrible, but it provides some honest to God GREAT discussion. The amount of deep conversations I get to have with them is mind blowing. Now they are writing essays about what they believe about God and that was just as fantastic to get to think through things with them and then read what they personally believe. I love it. Seriously.
Tonight, after school we had an English teacher meeting, without our English Program Director, Silvia, because she is still sick. She will hopefully be well enough to come back this week, as she is feeling much better. That would really be a great thing for you to pray about, though, because she has been super discouraged not being able to be here and lead in the capacity that she is so used to doing.
I also had my first Spanish lesson tonight!! I thought my teacher would speak a fair amount of English since the Seminary, where I am going for lessons, knew how LITERALLY beginner I am. BUT, she barely knows any English. I think it ended up being a good thing, hard for sure, but good! It forces me to really listen and try even harder. I'm feeling overwhelmed a bit with the amount of work I have to get done for classes and such, and now adding Spanish lessons, it will be an adjustment. I am learning a ton about time management, though. It's sad, really, you would think I learned this a long time ago, but now it's like I'm relearning this, along with many other things, all over again.
As hard as it is being here and doing this life at times, it is SO worth it. Why? Because I know I'm smack dab in the middle of God's will for me right now. All I know to do some days is just be. I don't have to be great, I don't have to be perfect, and I certainly don't have to have all my stuff together. Thank. God. The Lord has shown me so much about what it means to be away from my "norm" and still be intentional with those that are important to me. In addition to that, He's shown me how to be more intentional with the people He's placed in my life right NOW.
I better run, as I've still got a lot to get done tonight. Not only is God cleaning out some of the junk in my life emotionally, but He's also working on me cleaning out the junk that is all over my floor. Yep, not sure how it is possible to STILL have a messy room when I literally have a tenth of the things I normally have at home, but either way, it's driving me crazy and I have to stop putting it off. Adios y buenas noches! I'm not sure if that is accurate, but I think it means goodbye and good night! =)
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. - Philippians 1:6
Much Love and Blessings,
Brenna B.
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