Hi friends! I would like to start out by apologizing. I did NOT mean to go this long without blogging. I promise I will never go this long again without updating you all! The last three weeks have been a little bit of a blur, mostly because I got a cold, that turned into an even more serious thing (I'm much better now) and then we lost power for quite a while, and then I left town for a couple of days, and then we lost internet at our house! We actually still don't have internet, but the school internet works pretty well for us most of the time. It's not the greatest, but it's something.
Since I have so much to catch you up on, yet I really don't want to bore you, I will just give you some highlights:
The three of us teachers at the Teacher House hosted a bonfire, that got rained out and we all hung out inside instead, but still tons of fun! I got to meet all kinds of other white missionaries, which did my soul a lot of good. It's crazy to me how many North Americans (and English and Canadian) missionaries are down here! AND I keep meeting more! Anyway, it was wonderful getting to know them and hear their stories of what led them here.
The next night, the English teachers were invited to another missionary family's house for dinner: homemade lasagna. YUM! It was great because Sue, who is also the mother of one of my 8th grade students, wants to make sure we all are spiritually taken care of, so she wants to meet with us one on one and provide us with whatever support we need while we're here. In other words, she's like my campus minister from back home, which is absolutely wonderful. =)
My biggest struggle lately has been with my students. It amazes me how much I can love them and yet also be so frustrated by them! I've been brought to tears many days since first arriving, and mostly because I feel like I am failing my students. That hurts my heart quite a bit. It's hard being a first year teacher. It's even harder doing it in a foreign country where their disciplinary rules are completely different from ours at home. Having said that, though, my students are all so great, and I thoroughly enjoy getting to know them better as the days go by. I love their hearts for Jesus and how eager they are to learn and talk about Him!
My students really encouraged me, though, as last Tuesday was Honduras' Children's Day. The way the high school celebrates this is by going to an under privileged school and showing the kids there a really good time. I was with my 7th graders all day, and they made me so proud with the way they loved those little kids and did their best to make them happy. It was especially great when I asked one of my girls if she was having fun and she said, "no, I'm so bored." The funny thing was, she was the one who looked like she was having the most fun. It just goes to show they really know how to act mature and put on a happy face even when they don't want to. It's the same with all of us. There are plenty of things we have to do that we don't really want to do, but God calls us to glorify Him, and we can't do that with a bad attitude. Plus, it's during those harder times when we really get to see God in action and enjoy Him at an even deeper level.
As I said earlier, I started to get a cold at the beginning of last week, and by last Friday, I was barely able to make it through the school day. My friend, Doris, who is one of the librarians, took pity on me when I asked if she'd take me to the hospital after school. Of course, since she's one of the kindest people I've ever met, she didn't hesitate to say yes. Now, before you get nervous, when we say "hospital" here, it is nothing like in the States. It is more for any need, like an Urgent Care, if you will. Any health issue you have, this is where you go. The benefit of working at the school is that any and all of our medications are covered! So, I got an appointment with the doctor, a blood test, all my medications, and even a Penicillin shot (in my buttocks, no doubt) all for free! Talk about a blessing! For those wondering, my platelets are doing great still. =) And I found out I had a bacteria in my blood that was best dealt with by getting a Penicillin shot. I can't say I've ever had one of those and I really can't say I'd like to ever get another one. They are super uncomfortable. If nothing else, though, I provided a good laugh for the lady who injected it in me!
Thankfully, I started to feel well enough to join my good friends on a trip to Copan to enjoy our two days off from school after we had our annual Independence Day parade! I love being in Honduras, but being in Copan made us feel like we weren't even in Honduras anymore. I mean, sometimes you really have to get far away in order to fully relax. So that is exactly what we did! Copan is 5 hours away and all the streets are cobblestone. It is so wonderful there, and so peaceful since we went when not many people were visiting. Our hotel (which only cost $25 for 2 nights!) had this great rooftop area where we could sit and play cards, journal, lie in a hammock, drink coffee, soak our feet in a little pool, or just enjoy the view. We felt spoiled, to say the least. Like my friend, Lauren, said, it's the most relaxed any of us have felt since the school year began. It gave me some great alone time with God to just be open and honest about how I'm feeling about my new life.
The best thing about being here for this long is that it really does feel like home now. I know this is where I belong. The moment that God solidified that for me was Wednesday when we resumed classes and one of my 7th graders was out sick. The kids told me he has dengue (a really bad disease that can be life threatening, caused my certain mosquito bites) and weren't sure how bad his was. We've been practicing memorizing some verses from 1 John that talk about how if we do not love, we do not know God because God is love. We did our motions that we made up and then I asked the kids if we could pray as a class for Luis, the student who is sick. They all were so willing to do it, and one of the girls even volunteered to open us up in prayer. It was just what I needed to be reminded that I may not be doing very well in the department of teaching them academic things right now, but when it comes to God, He's leading me into such amazing opportunities for my students to have a fuller relationship with Him, it's such a beautiful thing.
Not only that, but my 9th grade class is reading a book right now all about how you have to follow all the "rules" if you really want to be saved. It's brought up some great conversation about how it's not about the rules at all, but about our hearts and that we seek Christ in everything we do. It always blows me away when the kids answer in a way that I can just tell "they get it". I can't wait to see how the rest of this year plays out. Even more so, I can't believe God chose me to come down here and live this life for a year. I certainly do not deserve it. If anything, that would be the theme of my life thus far while being here: I don't deserve to be living it. God has humbled me in so many ways. Being in a country where you can't speak the language and you can't drive a car and you can't do a lot of the things that were almost second nature to you back at home, it forces you to rely on others. Even more so, it forces you to be okay with relying on others. I have had to ask for help more times than I would like to admit, but never once has it ended badly. If anything, it strengthened my relationships with the people involved, and especially with Jesus. I can't do this life on my own, and I never want to.
We all need community. Even 2,000 plus miles away, we all still need community. Today, my momma had to put our dog, Josephine, to sleep because her health had gotten so bad. If there were ever a time a really, really wanted to go home, it would be today. I hate that I can't be there with my mom. However, I am extremely grateful for friends and family who CAN be there for her. My best friend, Kristin, knows how to love me even with all this distance. She went and spent time with my mom today and on top of that, I was able to Skype with them! My dad was there, too, so it was really great to be able to see them and talk to them. Especially today. I know what I'm doing here is not going to last forever, and in the span of my whole life, it could be very short, but I want to be able to enjoy every minute of it. That's hard to do when something like this happens, but I know that I serve a God who never leaves us or forsakes us. He doesn't leave me, He doesn't leave my mom, and He certainly doesn't leave anyone else, either. It's okay to not be in more than one place at a time, as much as I would like to, I know that God has all aspects of my life under control, even the ones I can't be a part of right now.
Having said that, it reminds me of my 9th graders. They are working on writing an essay on what they believe about God. One of the girls wrote that "I am his little girl". Yes, yes indeed! We are all His children and He longs to take care of us and show us how deep His love for us goes. Any struggle we may face, whether it is with our family, our friends, money problems, health issues, anything. All God wants to do is take us in His arms and tell us how much He loves us and that if we let Him take the lead, we will have everything we need. I'm trusting in that truth today. I'm praying you are, too. I can't imagine living this life without the hope of knowing that one day this world will pass away and we will get to spend eternity in Heaven with our Father, our Creator, the One who loves us more than we could ever possibly imagine. While I wait for that day, I'm trying to remember to live each day in obedience. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to fix everyone around me. I don't even have to be good at what I do. I just have to obey. I'm still figuring out what that looks like, but I think I understand it a little better every day. There are so many things I can't change, even more so since living here. I really have no choice but to "let go, and let God".
God Bless!
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