The last few days I have been thinking so much about all the joy and laughter and heartache and pain and beauty and love that has been all over this year. It's been unlike any other. Mainly because it's the only year of my life that has been half spent in Honduras and half in my Springfield "home".
I think it's really therapeutic to journal, and I wanted this to be seen by more than me, because it is too precious not to share what all God has done. I rang in last year with two of my closest friends, and as the year progressed, they came to visit me in my beautiful Honduras for a week, which was easily one of the best of my existence. Then, after coming home, to find out my best friend, same one to share Honduras with me, is HAVING A BABY. There is no greater joy than children. AND that my other sweet friend who shared in Honduras with me is getting MARRIED! Only one of the many reasons this year was so wonderful.
My kids in Honduras gave me a serious run for my sanity. I made countless journal entries about how hard they made my life, mainly in the classroom, but ya know what? Outside of the classroom I bonded with and got to love those kids in a way I never have before. My heart now breaks a little bit on a daily basis knowing the time just keeps getting longer that it's been since I'e seen their faces, hugged them tightly, or just let them laugh and think I'm crazy for my "awesome" sarcasm and jokes. It's been 6 months. This song, I Lived, by One Republic, puts it beautifully:
"Hope that you fall in love and it hurts so bad.
The only way you can know, you give it all you have.
And I hope that you don't suffer, but take the pain.
Hope when the moment comes, you'll say:
I did it all. I did it all.
I owned every second that this world could give.
I saw so many places and things that I did.
Yeah, with every broken bone, I swear I lived."
I did fall in love. I fell in love with every part of Honduras and every child I taught and every friend I made and every moment I had. Yep, even those sucky ones. I went places and challenged myself. I lived a life I could only have dreamed of before. Now, I would do it all over again and again.
I experienced for the first time what it REALLY means to love people unconditionally, but I don't think I truly learned it until I left. It's amazing how much I yearn for those moments when I thought I would have to give up and go home. Those were the moments that meant the most because they defined who I was in Christ. Who I AM in Christ. I came back to the States, after spending my last few days with some of my students, just being their friends, and I got to meet my Compassion kid, Omar. I mean, seriously, how many people get to do THAT? I spent the day with my friend, Ema, on her birthday, because she asked me to. I made some kind of imprint on her life, but she made a much bigger one on mine, along with every other kid I had the absolute pleasure of teaching for a year. I watched The Fault in Our Stars with my friend, Itzel, in Spanish, and cried over the MULTIPLE conversations I had with her and so many other girls about that book. I miss those days so much. I miss their joy and their love and their compassion. I also see it every day now, though, in the different kids I teach every day. They are with me wherever I go, whether they know it or not.
I've never been a very cool traveler, but I must say, after coming back from Honduras, I did quite a good amount of it! It started with a pretty impromptu trip to Ohio and then Canada to hang with my roomies! I don't do things without a lot of thought, but this was such an easy thing to say yes to, and, why not? Spending time with both of them in their "other homes" was so great! Witnessing those friendships continue on even after Honduras, that is beautiful to me.
In subbing this school year, I have seen so much joy in the kids I am with every day. I love it, even though they are also a good percentage of straight up crazy, after all I AM just a sub. :)
Next up was Washington D.C. Everyone who knows me knows my reason for going was not anything political. It was all about the pandas for me! However, we did go see all the sights that you must see while there, and I got to hang out with my mom, grandma, and cousin/ best friend, so it ended up being one of the best trips I've ever been on. All because of a panda. :) You're welcome, family.
Last was New Orleans, a rather rash decision solely based on wanting to hang out with my Nashvillian friend, Amanda, and because plane tickets were super cheap! Visiting the cemeteries, and getting kicked out of them, along with all the wonderful food and beautiful scenery, another trip that delivered way more than expected.
To wrap it up, I got to have Thanksgiving with my family again, and laughing with them is one of my absolute favorite things on the planet. Christmas was also great being with them and not feeling rushed this time because I didn't have to say goodbye to them in a few days. (Although most days if it weren't for money stopping me, I'd be on a plane to Honduras every month probably)
The best thing that is wrapping up my 2014 is where I will be living in Springfield soon. Much more shall be explained later, but just know, God is up to some pretty awesome stuff even right here in Illinois. He's placed me here, and with the love of Honduras and all the lives that touched mine, I take that love and the love of Christ into the world. A lot has happened this year, and, I swear I lived.
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