Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

Did you know I've already been in Honduras now for more than three weeks? Yeah, I didn't either until I looked at the calendar. Boy, time has been flying by! It's to the point where my days start looking more routine, so I don't really know what to share with you because it doesn't seem like anything new to me now. However, I'll try my best anyway. =)

Anyone back home who even knows a little about me knows that I have a lot of technology issues, mainly because I decided a long time ago that technology hates me. Well, sadly enough, my problem followed me to Honduras. My screen on my laptop went dead on me the other day. Talk about a freak out session. Me being the uneducated computer person that I am sat in my room and cried because I didn't think I'd be able to do my job OR talk to anyone from home. My world felt like it was caving in a little.

Then, my wonderful roommate, Sarah, told me this same thing has happened to her multiple times while she's lived here and also told me how to hook up my laptop to the t.v. screen. What? I seriously had never heard of this. Anyway, as I write, picture me hooked up to a t.v. screen that my new friend, Cristian, let me borrow. In other words: crisis averted. I also have another new friend, Doris (one of the librarians) who knows a guy who can fix my problem! Talk about God having my back. It's the little things like this that make me feel so blessed.

On to a different topic, one of my favorite things to do here is to go to church. We go to one called Celebracion, and there are a few reasons why I love it so much. First of all, it's not just a church, but during the rest of the week, it operates as a coffee shop! We went there a couple nights ago and I swear they have better tasting frappucinos than Starbucks. Yum! We got them at the perfect time, too, because I was just wishing I could have a Starbucks drink. 

It must be the country, and the fact that I really appreciate everything a lot more being here, that makes me really enjoy my quiet time with God in the mornings. It's so nice to go to bed so early that waking up at 5:30 isn't even a struggle. It gives me plenty of time to block out the rest of my worries and focus on the one who created me. I've been reading in Romans and just finished up and was searching for a new book to read when I saw my campus ministry back home, Christian Student Fellowship, is reading through the book of Proverbs this month. I decided it'd be pretty nice to join them in that, plus it's been a while since I read through all of them.

I finally got a new camera, and funny enough, it's even better than my lost one! And it's my favorite color. =) I also enjoyed a great smoothie date with my new friend, Lauren. It's been so wonderful to make new friends so far away who share the same passion for Jesus as me. I'm continually thankful for the example I was given during my years at college and showing me what living in community with others actually looks like. It's a lot harder to be intentional when you're always busy with work here, but it's certainly not impossible, and most definitely required in order for me to continue to thrive here.

I think my biggest adjustment currently is to stop sweating the small stuff. The Bible verse from Matthew (I think?) comes to mind when Jesus talks about how He feeds the birds, so why are we worried that He won't take care of us even more abundantly? I need that reminder, because in the midst of one of many small trials throughout my day, it's easy to think "Really, God? Why are you making me go through this?" Sometimes I selfishly think that because I came here at ALL is enough of a challenge, so why does He have to throw more obstacles in my way? I quickly remember how silly that way of thinking is. I'm so grateful to be here and doing what I love, no matter how tough the kids are to manage at times. I try to imagine living at home right now instead, and it doesn't even make sense in my mind. This is where I HAVE to be right now. 

Thanks for listening to me ramble on about my life and minor daily problems. Sorry this was a longer post than normal, turns out I did have a lot to say after all! Praying this can be some encouragement to you with whatever it is you may be going through right now. Just remember, God's got your back, even when you may not believe that. He hasn't gone anywhere just because we can't "feel" Him. It just means we have to dig a little deeper to find Him.

Nothing Is Wasted

Hi again!

We started school on Wednesday! However, when I say “started”, I mean we had a welcome ceremony and the kids played games and did different activities all day, which was real only a half day. I wasn't sure how I felt about this setup at first, but looking back, I'm glad we did it that way. It gave me a chance to meet my kids outside of the classroom and see what they are like around each other. I also got to see who my “troublemakers” would be. I'm not too worried about them causing any real trouble, though. The worst thing any kid does is talk too much and goof off. I'll take that any day over being rude to other classmates and picking fights with them.

I'm really excited to finally have my own class, mainly because during student teaching, you don't usually get to start the year with the kids. When they're yours, you get to have them from beginning to end. =)

I've always been hard on myself about classroom discipline, mostly because I've never felt like I am very good at it. Yesterday was the first day of classes, and it was a lot of ups and downs. I felt good about my 9^th grade class in the morning, and also with my spunky little 7^th graders, but as the day went on, I started feeling like I should just pack up and go home. In order to understand what my day looks like, you should know how the high school classes work. Instead of the teachers each having their own room and the kids going from class to class, the students each have their own classroom in which the teachers travel to to teach. You see, our school isn't very big, I believe around 80 kids total in the high school side. My 7^th grade class is 25 and my 8^th and 9^th graders are around 15 each, give or take a couple (we don't have finalized class lists yet).

The thing I really like about this, however, is that I can have each grade two and sometimes three times a day, just not all together. I thought this was terrible at first, but now I see its' benefits. My 7^th graders are really great...in the morning. After lunch all you can do is pray they take a little away from the lesson. So, I now know that when planning, I want to do the more important teaching in the morning, so they have a better chance of soaking in the material. The bad thing, though, is that I may never actually get used to this schedule since it changes every parcial (their term for quarter).

All in all, I know my biggest struggle will be dealing with behavior issues, but I also have learned from the past to give myself some grace, especially since I am known to take it personally when I mess up once and think it's the end of the world. That's what I love about teaching, it, like many other jobs, allows you to start fresh the next day and improve from the day before. I just need to stay positive, no matter how bad the situation is. For example, yesterday I was supposed to be teaching an 8^th grade class at 12:30 because of a new schedule change they made. The only problem was they didn't tell ME about the change. I went in unprepared because I forgot my materials at the teacher house in a rush to get to class. The class could tell I wasn't ready, and while they helped come up with a good game for us to play, I feel like it took away some of my authority figure. Today more than made up for it, though, because we played a great game of getting to know each other. In short, there was a lot of running to each others' desks so we didn't have to be stuck in the middle telling all about ourselves. I think the kids got a lot out of it with seeing how I am, and that's what was most important.

I am really looking forward to getting to share Jesus with them in class. Not only that, but I hope to share my story with them, too. God has never let me forget how beautiful of a story He is writing in my life. I mean, this time a couple years ago I was suffering from a life-threatening blood disorder. And now I'm in Honduras for a whole year!!?? The ONLY way that could ever happen is by God Himself. I've been really encouraged this past week with the words from the book of James. My best friend Debra shared these words with me during my student teaching and I am so thankful to still have them to look back on now. In the Message version, the beginning of James 1 goes like this: “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.” Pretty great, right? Before school started, I just felt very lost and like I had no business being here. I didn't see my purpose yet because I wasn't teaching yet. I really wanted to go home. That, my friends, would have been a shame. If I had, I never would have gotten to see why God placed me here. Actually, I still don't fully know why, but it's becoming a little clearer each day.

I am beyond grateful for my past, because it has led me to my future, to my “right now”. I would never have wanted to miss this! All the bumps and bruises along the way (literally) were worth it for me to be here now. It's going to be a hard year. But it's also going to be full of God. I'm so glad I get to share it with you, too! Maybe you needed to hear those words from James today, too. If there's something really difficult you're dealing with, keep pushing through it. From plenty of past experience, I know God will not let it go to waste. 

Getting Settled In

I've now been here for five full days and still loving it! I don't really know where to begin, so I'll start with my favorite thing: food. Honduras is known for these little gems called baleadas (ba-lee-a-da). They're basically a tortilla with mushed red beans, eggs, mantequila (sorry Spanish speakers, I have no clue how to spell that, but it's their version of sour cream), and cheese. First off, Honduran cheese is NOT like the cheese we're used to in the States. It's *super* salty. I've learned to get my baleadas withOUT cheese, and man is it heavenly! Seriously, I know I won't be leaving here for a while, but I'm already sad thinking about not being able to have these whenever I want! That's one great thing about the food here, it's so cheap!!

I went with a couple of my roommates and the other teachers to get dinner and then see a movie, and it only cost $4.50 all together! The average size of a baleada here is, well, rather large, so it's plenty to fill you up. We went to see Monsters University afterwards. Granted, it was in Spanish so I couldn't understand 99% of it, but it was still really cute!

We started orientation on Monday and have enjoyed getting to know each other on the staff this year and doing a lot of group bonding activities. It has been much appreciated and definitely helping me feel more at ease with this huge life transition. As I type this, it is raining, once again. I usually do not enjoy the rain in the States, but I love it here. It just reminds me of how God cleanses us and renews our spirits. Another thing that happens here a lot is barking dogs. All. The. Time. Especially right when I am trying to go to sleep at night. I like it, though, because it reminds me of my dog, Bella. But, seriously, it's sad that most dogs here just live off the streets, so they don't have an owner telling them to be quiet or to come inside. They do, however, make a really great alarm clock in the morning!

I've been more amazed than ever with the way technology works these days. I've been able to talk to all of my friends and family back home almost as if we were still in the same country. It's the little things that make my days here easier. It also helps that all the girls I live with have been through the exact same thing as me before and know how to encourage me. They also don't mind if I just burst into tears on the spot. It's going to be a really, really good year, of that much I am sure. I love the staff here and how Christ-focused we all are. It makes this transition SO much better.

School starts next Wednesday, and if you are praying for me, that is what you could pray for, and not just me, but all of us teachers here. It is going to be stressful, and difficult to let go of our own expectations and respect the Honduran culture, but, it'll be great! Other than that, there isn't much new happening here. In fact, in many ways, it's like I'm still at home! I still eat peanut butter sandwiches, watch North American cable from time to time (we're not sure how we got that, but alas, we have it. What are ya gonna do?) , and I'm still on the internet a LOT in my downtime. We have extremely reliable internet here at the house, and for that I am thankful.

Oh, and for those wondering about my backpack? My boss's parents went looking for it and nothing had turned up. There was a chance it could still be there, but they wouldn't say over the phone. The only way I could find out was if I went to the airport (two hours away) myself and then there was still the chance that it wasn't even there. My only chance to go was during the first day of orientation, so I decided to let it go. It got me thinking why I came here. It wasn't so I could have all my stuff here with me. It was to serve Jesus by serving these kids and this school as a whole. I couldn't really do that if I missed orientation. God is good, though, as I still ended up with all the necessities in all of my other bags. Yes, I;m sad about losing it, but life goes on and I forgave myself for losing sight of it. I'm looking forward to starting this school year and really diving in to the Honduran lifestyle!!

Thank you for your prayers and all of your support. It is so comforting to know I have so many people back home who love and care about me so much. Ready for the Lord to stretch my faith in unthinkable ways this year!!!

Hello From Honduras!!

Hello From Honduras!!

Well, I made it finally! I had a lot of issues as soon as we were ready to board to Dallas from Springfield, they said there were maintenance issues and we had a 2 hour wait. I literally just started bawling right there on the spot. But the lucky thing was I got to go back out and sit with my sweet friends who came and my mom and dad.

It ended up taking off only an hour late, so as soon as we landed in Dallas, I booked it for my terminal and as I was checking to make sure it was the right flight, I hear "final boarding call for flight 640!" Talk about a close call! I had a little more time when we touched down in Miami, but not much after walking all over the place. The list of flights said my flight was at terminal J2, funny thing was, the map DIDN'T HAVE A J2!

But I finally found signs pointing me toward it so I kept following them until they pointed to a check in, except that was obviously NOT where I was supposed to be! Let me preface that I was/ have been an emotional wreck all week leading up to this. So it should not surprise you that I again broke down in the middle of this airport, which isn't signed very well at all, and all I wanted to do was scream for someone who could understand English!! It was rough.

However, then some guys did help me and I made it through security check and found my flight. I also had a hard day because all I'd had to eat was half of a cheese stick at like, 5:30 in the morning! I didn't eat again until 3! Thankfully I had a little time before leaving for the Honduras flight. I grabbed a granola bar and got on the plane. All the plane rides themselves were fine, but getting to them is possibly one of the worst things ever. But, when you're alone, it forces you to just deal with it. So, I did!

I got off and met Lauren, another English teacher, and Doris, one of the librarians, as well as James, another new English teacher. We got to the school around 7:15 (which feels like midnight here because it gets pitch dark at 6:30 every night!) and had pizza from the local grocery store. It seriously tasted just like American, only the Hondurans use better sauce, I think! =) I got to meet all the other English teachers and some of the Hondurans as well. It feels so good to really be here and meet everyone, even though it's still scary when I think about how far away I really am! But, that is to be expected, and luckily, I have three girls I live with who all have their homesick moments, so it's really okay.

So, a terrible thing I discovered AFTER we were in Siguatepeque (the town I now live in, eek!) was that I somehow FORGOT my backpack at the airport. The airport is two hours away from Sigua (what everyone calls this town, you know, because it has such a long name), so we tried calling and didn't get any answer, but will try again today and see what happens. I have all my really important things, but it stinks, my camera, my ipod, my favorite Bible, letters from friends, and just daily essentials were all in there.) If you could be praying about that, it would be great. =)

I would attach pictures with this, buuuut, like I said, my camera is gone, at least for the moment. What I really wanted to end on today, though, is this: I've always thought when I get into sticky situations that I was so lucky to have someone there to help me. Much like today, with not knowing where to go in the airports and not knowing what to do when my very first flight was delayed. I always tend to think how incapable I am, but that's because I AM. I 'm not supposed to be able to do everything without needing help, none of us are. It wasn't luck that found me when I needed guidance getting to my next destination, it was God. I love how He shows up in so many random people just for me, even if they may never know it! God places each person in our path for a reason, so I really want to remember that, especially with my time In Honduras. It like the English Program Director, Siliva, says "It's not a coincidence we are here." I'm so glad she thinks that, because it's been a motto of mine ever since I first found out about this school.

Today, we're getting a tour of Sigua and going to the market, and also hopefully getting cell phones we can use in Honduras. Oh yeah, speaking of phones, that was also in my backpack. Even if I do get it back, which I really hope I do, I won't be using it to call anyone on, and I will only be texting very minimally. So if you want/need to reach me, use Facebook or twitter or my email (brennab2989@yahoo.com). For those of you wanting to know how to send packages/letters to me, I will post that in my next blog. It's only 6:10 here and I didn't get much sleep to begin with, so I'm going to try to rest some more before my first full day here!

Love you all and thank you so much for the prayers and support you're given me. It makes it harder to be so far away because of how wonderful my community of friends and family are, but it's still wonderful.

Until next time,
-Brenna B.

Long Time, No Blog! Wanna Know What's New??

Welcome back to my blog, which I seem to have neglected for the past two years...oops! Well, now I'm back in action, renamed it, and even gave it a rainy background. The reason for that being that when I went on my one week mission trip to Honduras a few years ago, it rained, like, every day. When I think of rain, I smile as I think of Honduras. So, now when you read this, you can think of it, too. =)

I thought I'd start the new blog off by putting my support letter up here so you can understand what brought me to this huge change in my life. Enjoy!

Hi Again, Friends,

Have you ever had your plans change within just a matter of a few hours in a way you really just never saw coming? That's kind of what's happened to me in the last month or so. But, then again, it's really been a long time coming. Remember back in 2010 when I went to Honduras with my old church? Well, my heart never really left ever since I got back. Then, a friend of mine, without really even knowing he did, gave me a wonderful reminder that I really do want to go back there, and for more than just a week this time. I Google searched “teaching English in Honduras” and guess what? I found an incredible opportunity waiting for me there!

I researched the school for a couple hours and just kept talking to God, continually asking Him to open these doors for me to do this if it's where He wants me. Well, He opened so many doors that I got all the way through the application and interview process and was offered the position of teaching both English and Spelling to grades 7-9! Crazy, right? Yes, but only in the very best way possible! I've always felt like God gave me a heart for long(er) term mission work, so why not start embracing it now, rather than waiting until it may not be an option for my life anymore? I do not think it was a coincidence that God sent me to Honduras at the time He did. Nor do I believe it's a coincidence that I found the school off of Google (of all places!) and it is a Christian based one, AS WELL as an English speaking one at that. Sure, Google may not be the most popular place to discover a missionary opportunity like this, but since when has God ever limited ANYTHING He does? So, here I am, writing to proudly and excitedly tell you that I will be moving to Siguatapeque, Honduras from this August to June of next year!

Now, I know you're probably wanting to know more information about the school and kind of get a raw picture of what my life there will look like, right? The name of the school is Comunidad Educativa Evangelica (Siguatepeque Bilingual Christian School). Siguatapeque is known as a wealthier city in Honduras, but in no way does that mean that the students and community members don't need people to love on them and to show them Jesus. The school teaches grades K-11 and the students learn half of their days in Spanish and the other half in English. I've been blessed to have many conversations already with the other women teachers I will also be living with while there and I am overjoyed at the amount of time outside of school they get to spend with students who go to the school! There are so many opportunities for ministry and for discipleship that I just can't hardly wait to get there and get started! It's so amazing to think that my very first year of actually teaching and having my own classroom will also take place in a third world country that goes by a whole different rule book with the way they live. But, that only gets me more excited to see the ways God could use this time to grow my faith and really help me “grow up” in a sense.

Like I said, I will be living with three other ladies, all of whom are returning English teachers. I've spent much of my free time looking at their pictures on Facebook and seeing all the Honduran faces of the lives they've been able to impact because God has chosen to use them there in Honduras. One of the girls actually has a story much like my own, as she just finished her first year ever of teaching, and has chosen to take on yet another year because she loved it so much. I know from student teaching that we will be extremely busy, and after reading all of the teachers' blogs, I now know that we will be even busier than the average teacher because of all the extra time many kids spend at the school, and therefore, have even less time for relaxation. Even with all the craziness that I know will happen as soon as I step foot off the plane, I could not be more excited for it! It's an amazing feeling to be done with college and be in a place where I really can do just about anything, and go anywhere. I'm going to take that saying seriously and go to Honduras, and I'm so excited to begin forming friendships with my students (that's why I LOVE this age!!) and helping them dig deeper in their own faith.

I've been so well equipped with discipleship while I was in college because of the incredible campus ministry I was part of, Christian Student Fellowship, and I've seen what it really means to be the hands and feet of Christ. I'm not saying that everyone should move to a third world country in order to be like Jesus, but He does call some of us to that life. For me, I know that He has called me to Honduras, at least for this year. It is a position where I can go just a year, and I also have the option of staying on longer if I choose to do so.

While this is a missionary position, the school pays their English teachers a stipend of $325 a month, and they also pay for your apartment you share with the other teachers. In other words, it's enough to live on while in Honduras. However, the school only pays for flight costs for me to get down there, we are responsible for paying the rest of our flight costs, which is around $750 one way and I would be going there and back twice during my contract. Then you add on the cost of medical expenses every month and you come up with quite a bit of money needed. That doesn't mean it's an impossible amount, though. One of my most favorite aspects of missions work, and I've said this probably in every support letter I've ever sent, is that it allows the missionary to invite other people in on their experience. This is not something I plan on doing by myself, nor would I ever want to! One of the beautiful things about experiencing something is that you get to tell others about it!

 I want to invite you to come along on this journey with me! This is going to be a HUGE life change for me, and I am going to need a lot of support. I would love it if you could join me in praying for this trip and the time I'll be in Honduras. If you would like to give financially as well, I would also really, really appreciate that. The breakdown of what I will be needing includes food/water, health costs, flight costs, cable/internet/phone, and classroom necessities and averages about $650 support needed per month. If you feel willing to give to this trip, you can do one of two things. I have set up a PayPal account which you can go on and donate to at this link: brennab29.blogspot.com. There is a "Donate" button at the top right of the page. If you do not want to give online, you can also send a check in my name to my home address in Rochester,IL and my mom can have it deposited into my account. You can give a one time gift, a monthly gift, or just whenever you feel like it, really! Honestly, anything you choose to give would be so GREATLY appreciated.

 As I write this, I trust God fully that the money I need will come in, because God is God and He can do anything He wants to do! I've been pleasantly reminded many times in the last few months that “Now, to Him who is ABLE to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to HIM be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21. Not only can God give us even more than we could ever think up on our own, but He does it to bring glory to His name! Ahh, that gets me so excited!

Oh, and don't worry, while I am gone, I plan on regularly updating my blog, Living My Honduran Dream! (found at the same link for online giving that I mentioned above), so you can follow me and keep up with all the latest happenings in Honduras! Many of you who are reading this have read support letters of mine in the past, too, and I want to take this time to thank you so much for any and all support you showed. It is because of all of those previous trips I took and all the heartbreak I experienced along the way, from not being able to go on a trip or the way I saw people living and wanted to do more to help them, that has enabled me to even get to this point in my life where I feel God more clearly than ever leading me down this next path. 

I don't know how long He has me on it for, but I do know that He's faithful and He works every thing out for the good of those who love Him. That doesn't just mean me, it means you, it means your family members and your friends. It means the random people you meet in your life. God has a beautiful plan for each one of us, and not only that, but He knows, better than anyone, what trials will have to be faced in order to be molded into the people He created us to be. I recently read Kisses From Katie, (read it if you haven't!!) and she said something I keep coming back to when I think of the hard things I've had to face and the things I will have to face in the future. “Nothing is a sacrifice in light of spending eternity with Christ”. I want to live my life in such a way that this is totally evident to others who meet me.

God Bless and Thank You!

We Could All Use Some Encouragement

To say that yesterday was awesome just doesn't seem to cut it. More like unpredictable, but still, absolutely amazing. I woke up feeling like crap. Pretty sure I had some kind of little flu bug, my head hurt extremely bad and I practically had to crawl because it was too painful to walk for a while. I had to go get my weekly blood work done, though, so I finally felt good enough to go do that. Blood work came back amazingly! My count has jumped again to 83,000 platelets! And that is since my doctoc lowered my prednisone by one pill a day, so it's even cooler. :) God has been working like crazy in my body and I am just so honored that he is using me through this, so awesome to see Him being glorified even in this. God seriously comes to my rescue every single day, in every situation, and that is AWESOME! Sunday night, I was talking with my best friend and told her I was going to write my Kenya support letter this week, but I wasn't going to send them until I had talked with my doctor to see if a surgery was still in my future. I don't want to plan this whole trip and then have it ripped from me. Well, then she quickly asked me "Do you still feel like God's calling you there?" Me -- "yes..." Deb -- "Then you should send them out whether you know about the surgery or not." Man, hit me like a ton of bricks! If God wants you to be somewhere, He will take every barrier out of your way to get you there. That's what I learned from the National Missionary Convention we went to a couple months ago. I can't shake the feeling that this is part of why God is healing me : because He wants me in the midst of all these things coming up in my life. He wants me to be there, to be apart of them, to be used for His kingdom. He is just so good, I can;t even believe how good He has been. Even though there are plenty of unknowns in my life, especially the huge hospital bills we have after the fact. I have no idea where that money is going to come from, but God does, and if He does, I'm okay with that. I will let Him take the reigns on that one. I trust that He will take care of me and all of the things I have no control of, which is, well, everything!
As I look at my class schedule for next semester, it would be easy for me to curl up and want to hide away for how busy I am going to be. It's overwhelming to see how much I will be doing next semester. Especially as I look at all my free time I have over break right now and how I've been able to draw so close to God already, I treasure it because I'm not sure what it'll look like next semester. Then, I think, that's silly! As long as I have this amazing passion for Him, I know He will continue to give me the time I need for Him. He is my priority and I want my time to reflect that. A group of us are going to do the 90 day read through of the Bible, 12 chapters a day, and I couldn't be more excited! It might be the biggest challenge in my faith, but lately I've been reading 9 chapters a day so I can finish it out in time to start it up again. I tell you what, reading huge chunks at a time is awesome! I can honestly say at this point that the Bible is my favorite book. I love reading it and it constantly opens my eyes to new things about my savior! God is all over the place and as long as I stay in His merciful presence for the rest of my life, I have all that I need. I'm not content with my life, I'm completely overjoyed with it! I can truly say that I haven't had a bad day in well over 3 months. I heard once of a man who hadn't had a bad day in over 20 years and I didn't understand why, until now. The power of God is just simply more than we can fathom and I am blessed to be able to witness it while on earth. I think of when I was younger and we were told about how even in your final moments, you can still find God if you truly believe in Him. You can have eternity with Him still. As amazing as it is that He literally gives us that chance until your final breath, I find myself feeling sorry for those people. Why? Because they missed out on God while they were here. They didn't get to experience Him in their earthly lives the way He yearns for us to. The best thing about God is that no one can take Him away from me. They can take literally everything I have, leave me with nothing, but not matter what, I will always have my Jesus, and that is the best gift of all. I heard a quote about Christmas which I thought was pretty profound. "Christmas for the nonbeliever is to feel for one day what the Christian feels everyday." What if we all had the spirit of Christmas every single day? I know for me, I've had that feeling for quite a while now, and you certainly won't see me complaining if that's the way I feel for the rest of my life! Life is not perfect, we are going to face a lot of bumps and bruises, we will be rejected and lied to and treated horribly and it will hurt, especially if it's from people that are close to us, which is usually how it goes, right? We're going to face death, financial troubles, busyness of work, school and life in general. Yet even in all of that, God is not going to leave us! All we have to do is cling to Him with everything we've got. When scripture said "nothing is impossible with God", we weren't being lied to, we were being promised that He would hold us. He's not going to let us go, even when the rest of the world does. If there;s one thing we can put our hope in, it's Him.

How Can God Be So Good When We Don't Deserve It?

These past couple of months have been absolutely crazy. Seriously, who knew being sent to the hospital could completely change someone's life? Okay, maybe that's not too far fetched of a thought after all, but still, for me and my faith journey, it's exactly what I needed. The short story is that my platelets dropped to practically none, which, if you don't know, platelets are what makes your blood clot so you don't bleed to death, more or less. Anyway, I was put in the hospital for a couple days and had this globulin stuff pumped into me to pump up my platelets. It was the first time I had an IV put in me, which was painful all in itself because my veins are not the kind the nurses like, so I got pretty bruised up from all of that. The coolest thing that I realized while I was there was how many people cared so much about me. I had way more people come to visit and call me than I could have imagined. God showed His awesome love for me so much just through that. I got some good time to myself while I was there, and really ever since then, my faith has just shot to a completely different level.
I don't want to sit here and retell you everything in my life that has happened, you can just read my journal if you really want all of the details. I decided I would just give you a list of all the amazing ways I have seen God at work in both my life and those around me since then:

* One of the biggest things has been in Christian Student Fellowship, our campus ministry at UIS. God has truly been changing us and bonding us together in a way that I have never experienced before. He keeps bringing more and more people and actually getting them connected! We even had an international student give her life to Jesus and get baptized before she goes back to China! How AWESOME!
* I've had the amazing privilege of praying for some of my closest friends every single day for God to intercede in their lives, for them to open up their hearts to Him. I have seen God working in them as I pray everyday, knowing that He hears our prayers and that He is using me to reach them. Again, just super awesome.
* The biggest thing would have to be my relationship with my mom. For most of my life, we really just haven;t truly gotten along, that is, until I gave it all to Jesus, for real this time. I finally let His holy spirit overtake me and He has been ever faithful through it all. I have gone from praying nonstop that my mom would encounter God in such a new way that she would truly see Him for who He is to seeing Him shining through her. God has allowed me to show her to Him and He has completely saved our relationship. I was actually just telling my friend the other day that I actually *love* going home and talking with my mom. She didn't even know what to say because that is so not like me. That's the cool thing, though, it's not me, it's all God.
* Okay, this is long, so here's my last one. This whole platelet thing has been a crazy roller coaster ride, and today I found out they are going UP. Without having any of the globulin stuff going in me, they are going up because of God, not because of my medication or anything else. I truly believe that He is doing a Holy work in my body and it is so awesome to be a witness to it. Whatever happens, I just want this to bring glory to His name. He has been so good in ways I honestly do not deserve or understand. He is such a great God and I really just can't wait to tell the world about Him! That's a new thing for me, too. I didn't used to get that excited!

To wrap it up, God is really the best, and I hope and pray that all of you reading this one day get to experience that for yourselves as well. If you want more detailed descriptions of what's been going on in my life, don't hesitate to ask, I love telling about my life, especially when it has to do with Jesus. :)